FALLING, SLOWLY THEN ALL AT ONCE

images number 1 and 6 second shot with whitewall photography 

Written 5 weeks ago...

The flu has hit our home hard and swiftly.  My younger three brothers, two younger sisters and my mum fell ill with a fever for five days.  I ran out of the house, escaped with my laptop, grabbed by bike pedalled and took the wrong road.  It was damp and grey outside.  A dark cloud wrapped over the sky like a blanket and cars rushed past, warm and heated inside.  The wind stung my ears, clapping at my helmet and my body.  I pedalled faster, let gravity take her pull and swing me loose and free down the hill - exuberance, energy, vitality - then uphill again.  Pushing, yearning, striving.  I pushed my bike closely against a poll and locked it with a small purple lock.  And ran.  I almost stumbled into the bus, swiped my card, and in time, made it to the city for a client meeting.  The bride and I had a wonderful conversation and I am beyond ecstatic to shoot her wedding.  Afterward,  I talked with several store owners.  I wandered into different shops.  I chatted with a sales lady at Pressed Juices, had a lovely conversation and was offered some vegan cake. I smiled and laughed, later on only to realise that I had spinach stuck in my teeth.  (Cue slow clapping.)

Now.

 Now I type away in my room.  I've quarantined myself from the sickness spreading like a fire outside my room.  I have not yet been sick, and I will not be sick.  It is still and cold but bright and I am alight with vitality and passion, my mind is alight.  My spirit is on fire.

Falling, falling, and falling slowly.  Then all at once.  It is a beautiful feeling, to be loose and free and to let gravity take her pull - whether it is on a bike or in life.  I'm pushing and pedalling harder than ever, even though sometimes I fall short - take the wrong paths, put deadlines to the side.  I am striving.  The spark -- the desire -- to improve, to pull myself higher, to fall closer to God, to push through thick (and thin), it lurks.  And that's all that matters.

"Then the loudest silence of all.  The realising that some chapters don't have endings.  Sometimes they just stop in the middle of a sentence and it's up to me to turn the page" (Nirrimi - on her blog 'fire and joy')

Life doesn't often flow the way we want it to and that's 120% okay.  If only we would let gravity, let God, let life take its pull, to ease into the difficulties of life - to prevent us running from them.   Slip down the slide of life, don't try to hold back.  There will be lows; but after dreadful lows, the sun will slip into the sky accompanied by exhilarating heights.

How swiftly life breathes, how fast her heartbeat.

5 weeks later...

After a flurry of session inquires and meetings with brides and grooms I gasped, praised God, sank into what seemed like a perpetual state of blissful ease, unbridled joy.

My passion is morphing into my life, my work, my dreams.  It seeps into almost every thought and creating art, documenting life and light and stories and human beings is what I desire to do for the rest of my life.  Life is rich with meaning and vitality, alight with stories and emotions and it is my hope to display at least a snippet of that through photographs.

2 weeks later (now)...

In an attempt to be brutally honest and vulnerable with the world, my clients and you, I am sharing this post.

I've lived across four countries, with 5 younger siblings and two wonderful parents, I've moved eleven times, have been homeschooled up until grade 12, attended university for one year then dropped out.  I spent my days (and still DO spend my days) wondering what on earth I was and am going to do with my life.  Could my passion -- my passion for capturing love and humans through photographs morph into a business?  That is what I want to explore on my blog.  I want to share me.  100% unbridled vulnerability.

Let's get started.

All my love, Acacia xx